Ok, let’s be honest. Vacations with little ones are not vacations in the way that our pre-children selves think of them. The reality is that most parents probably need a vacation after their “vacation” with babies. But after spending a week up in the White Mountains with my family (my parents, too!), I’ve been able to reflect on what made the week memorable - on what things worked, and what didn’t. So, here it is:
1. Pack it all. You know what I mean. All. Of. The. Stuff. I actually think this was my best job packing for family vacation so far and even still, you would have thought we were spending the entire summer in a third world country, not a week in the White Mountains. I know it totally sucks loading it all up, but the reality is - you never know what to expect with little ones. You will need changes of clothes. It’s nice to have the body wash you know their delicate skin isn’t allergic to. You might need the Tylenol in case they pop a temperature. It’s also nice to have the comforts of home. My kids are super-dependent on routines, so I let them bring their own blankets and bedtime stories. I don’t know about you, but I’d prefer an extra bag over a nightly meltdown because you didn’t bring Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?
2. Disconnect as much as possible. I’ll admit, after a longer than expected hike to a waterfall one night, I was a little sad not to see how many steps I’d gotten in, but on the whole, it was really nice to take off my iWatch. It was total relief to leave my laptop packed away for most of the week. It was awesome to watch my kids playing “Guess Who” with their dad and grandfather instead of sitting in front of another episode of Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. Don’t get me wrong, I got in the occasional Instagram story scroll and cleared out my inbox a few times, but I really enjoyed a little space from my technology, and I definitelyI enjoyed being more present.
3. Take pictures AND videos (see #2 “as much as possible”). Okay, so not many of us our traveling with disposable cameras anymore. (By the way, have you seen how expensive they are today? Totally vintage.) The reality is that in order to capture these awesome moments, most of us do use our phones - it’s convenient! I know one thing I’m trying to do more of is to take more videos. Longer ones. We’re living this world of 10-second clips. I miss the childhood videos of the entire birthday party. Like, every single gift that was opened. Man, those parents were hardcore - the ones who kept that big, old video recorder on their shoulders for hours. But going back and watching those home movies now is so great - and hilarious. I want my girls to be able to relive some of these moments in ways that a 10-second clip just won’t do justice to.
4. Take pictures for other families. My husband and I have what we think is this great little photo hack now. When we want a family picture, we look around for another family that’s trying to get one in, too. You know you’ve seen it - mom stepping out to photograph everyone else. Dad reaching to try to squeeze everyone into a selfie. So we walk right up to that family and offer to take their picture. Admittedly, we do it because we know we’re going to ask for one in return. And often, we don’t even need to ask. Most people offer. But even if they didn’t, and even when we don’t want or need our own picture taken, I like to offer help when I see those families. Family photos aren’t always easy to get. And even when you do, getting every person looking at the camera is nearly impossible. But regardless, those pictures are the ones that go on desks at work. Or hang on mantles. Or go away to college with the kids someday. As annoyed as my family (read: husband) might get when I stop everything for a photo op, I know we’ll be glad we’ve captured these moments.
5. Find some grownup time. Vacations with little ones really do tend to become about the little ones, but seriously - try to find a way to get in some grown up time! We were lucky enough to have my parents on this last trip, so one night after the girls went to bed, my husband and I were able to have a wild night on the town (a.k.a. Stay up until 10 pm!). I know not every family will be traveling with someone who can help out, but to find a way. Drop the kids off at a class or a camp. Research sitters in the area. Order room service after the kids go to sleep. Or when all else fails, use one of your phones to “FaceTime” the baby monitor, and head down the hall to the pool. (Ok, we only did this once. Great idea? Terrible idea? Jury’s still out.)
6. Find some kid time. One of the coolest things about vacationing with your kids is that you get to be a kid again in some ways! If it’s possible to visit a childhood destination, do it! If you can show your kid something you learned when you were a kid on vacation, get on it! These nostalgic moments are more than cool - they’re building traditions and passing on memories. As a little kid, I’d always pick wild blueberries with my grandfather and father. Mid-hike during our vacation, my dad veered off the trail with my girls and they came back absolutely giddy that they’d picked and eaten their own wild blueberries. I had a 30-second panic about them not being washed, then I checked myself and let go of being mom. I followed my dad and my girls and started picking blueberries of my own! Popping those sweet little berries into my mouth while my baby girl was asking for more was a highlight of my trip.
7. Let go - as much as possible. Yes, you read that correctly before. I let my kids eat unwashed blueberries. They could have had dirt or bird crap on them. But they ate them anyway. And they were okay. And so was I. Vacation is about finding that right balance. I still brought my girls back to the house for afternoon naps every day. But I also let them stay up a little later to eat ice cream on the back deck. Little ones need their routines, but if you’re comfortable with it (and your kids won’t turn into psychos), it’s nice to have that little break from the routine, too. I mean after all, it is vacation, right?!
I’m sure my husband and I will continue to find ways to improve our “system” of vacationing with little ones, but the reality is that they’re not going to be little forever. So as hard as it is to pack up all the stuff, as much as you know there will still be meltdowns, as crazy as it is to plan the activities, these moments are fleeting. And as messy and chaotic as they can be, family vacations with little ones are the memories I know I’ll hold onto tightly.