Dear Grace,
Two?! I’m not sure how that can be. It feels like just yesterday you were born. It seems like just yesterday I was holding you in the middle of the night in the Special Care unit, watching your oxygen levels, praying you’d be okay. Grace - you were more than okay. It’s actually hard to believe that that at any point I saw you as small, as fragile. Grace - you are not small; you are not fragile. For a two year old, you’ve got will power that I wish I had. You’ve got strength that comes from this internal place that I hope you never lose. In this second year, you’ve developed a personality that is so perfectly you, and every day I look forward to seeing the next new thing you do.
This second year has been so much about establishing your independence. While you still often come to me saying, “Mama, up!” reaching your arms to me, you’re just as quick to squirm out of my embrace when you get your eyes set on something you want. “Do myself!” you often tell me when I try to swoop in to help you with little tasks like zipping your jacket or buckling your car seat or brushing your teeth. Some might say it’s because you have an older sister that you want to be so independent, but I think it’s just who you are and who you will be. “Brave!” you will tell me after you do something new like your first gymnastics class or a jump by yourself into the pool. Brave you are, my little one - sometimes so much so that I get nervous. I knew from the day you were born that you’d have a lot to teach me and being able to give you space to take safe risks is something I’m learning to become more comfortable with. I feel you testing your boundaries and capabilities, and I’m learning to let you take a step ahead while still being right behind if you need me.
This second year has also been about establishing your personality. For a two year old, you already have this wonderful sense of humor - from your funny imitations and pronunciations to your silly dances and and faces, you make me laugh every single day. “Gracie funny!” you will giggle, realizing you’ve just made a room of people laugh. We’ve had our battles, too. That strong will of yours can quickly turn to screaming and tears when you don’t get what you want because you, Grace, usually know exactly what you want - and what you don’t. I’ve chased you around the house to get into the bathtub and I’ve let you cry it out in the middle of your bedroom floor when I won’t play “Love is an Open Door” from Frozen one more time. I’ve ushered you out of the grocery store screaming for a yogurt pouch (after you already had one!), and I’ve made hundreds and hundreds of trips to your room in the middle of the night to get the blanket you threw out of your crib or to give you a sip of water or to just sing “Amazing Grace” one more time.
This second year has been full of so many memories - shoving your little body into snow gear for sledding, taking you to your first Red Sox game, eating Hodgie’s ice cream and beach pizza, riding the little ferris wheel at Storyland, swimming with cousins, dressing up as KISS for Halloween, and making homemade apple cider with family. For as many memories as we’ve made this year, there are even more to come. This second year will be your last as the baby, as we prepare to bring another baby girl into our family - as you’re about to become “the middle child.” People say a lot about middle children, but one thing that I love is that you get the best of both worlds - you get to be a little sister and a big sister - and how cool is that!? You already seem to love this little baby and ask to “see” her every day, lifting up my shirt, shoving your finger into my belly button and smiling, “Baby sister in there! In Mama’s belly!” I already know you’ll be a great big sister, and based on the personality you’re developing, I don’t think I’ll ever have to worry about you sinking into “the middle.”
“When you smile, it lights up the room. And when you laugh, it’s absolutely contagious.” A year ago, I wrote these words to you on your first birthday. And today, on your second birthday, they couldn’t ring more true. In a year that has brought so many changes, this has been constant, Gracie girl. You light up my world. You bring me joy. You make me a better person. Sometimes I don’t know how such a big personality fits into such a little human, but I sure am proud of it - proud of all you do, proud of you. Happy second birthday, my love.
Love,
Mama
xxx